Smitten Saturday : My First Born

So what am I loving just now? Its not what, it's who and I'm reluctant to share in case I jinx it!!

Its my eldest girl. She's been a pretty challenging wee girl since we arrived in Oz, but to be fair she was in the months leading up to this move. I'm riddled with guilt, that we've done the wrong thing for her and her future. She loved her life in Scotland, she had great friends, a great school and at 9 she'd more or less mapped her wee life out. She was secure, confident and really happy!! Then we moved to Australia.

It could well be that her demeanour and behaviour would have been the same in Scotland, it's hard to say, it may have been her hormones, but her and I have been at each other's throats for nearly a year now and it really had started to take its toll on me and her and her daddy! And then this last week, someone somewhere has flicked a switch and my funny, kind, quirky and generally amazing 10 year old daughter has emerged. I'm not sure where she's been or how long it will last, but I've had the most amazing time with her over the school holidays, we've laughed and laughed. Had lovely cuddles, "big" chats about her "future" (she's a pretty determined wee bugger) and generally enjoyed each others company.

I know it might not last, but whilst it does I'm loving it.

Melon for breakfast, 6 pack by tea-time!!!

So, before living in Oz my 'plan' was I'd get this lardy arse into gear, shape up, get fit, redefine my 'style' (find one) and generally find my 'mojo' after years of studying, working, striving, being a mum, being everything to everyone, but not sure I was truly being myself!!

It'll be easy I thought, a land where it's sunny, plenty beautiful fresh food, who after-all wants a fry up when it's 41C?? It's true the good old fry-up doesn't appeal in the heat, but I tell you what, paying $6 for a small punnet of strawberries or $30 a kilo for grapes sure puts a dent in your budget! (£4 and £20 respectively).

What no one warned me of was the danger of being on permanent holiday! Sitting out in the balmy evenings is something I'm used to saving for my 2 week holiday in the sun. Months of it, a wee glass of something, a wee bowl of crisps/peanuts/olives (delete as appropriate) on a nightly basis have taken their toll. Throw into that melting pot it's too bloody hot to wear shoes, never-mind exercise, then you may like me find yourself celebrating 6 months in paradise with an extra 14 kg (2 stone in old money).

I'm really disappointed in myself! I'd been doing so well, slowly chipping away at my weight before Perth, spinning 3-4 nights a week and generally being sensible. Sensible, I've discovered doesn't suit me terribly well, so I'm back to where I was over 10 years ago and doing the couch to 10k programme. Although after 4 babies and 10 years I've downgraded to 5k. I'm 1 week in and so far so good on the running , food and alcohol are still a problem, but i'll sort that out in the coming months!

www.active.com/mobile/c25k